You are hereFree Seduction & Dating Resources
Free Seduction & Dating Resources
FREE RESOURCES
http://www.vybelist.com (sister site devoted to building global community of men and women seeking to improve their dating life, relationships and lifestyle)
http://ww.Cliffslist.com (excellent free newsletter)
http://www.Wikki.com (just great for any research)
http://www.Fastseduction.com (very large online community, a global “hub” for PUAs)
http://www.Bristollair.com (has the always popular lair list from around the world for PUAs looking for wings in any major city, also lots of free articles on Swinggcat, Sebastian and Major Mark)
http://www.Vh1.com (check out Mystery’s season 1 for some entertaining tips, also season 2 is on the way!)
http://www.NeilStrauss.com writer of the New York Times top 10 best-seller, The Game
http://www.stylelifeacademy.com
http://www.theseductionbible.com/ (similar to bristollair but more entertaining and user-friendly)
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com (official site for community icons like Tyler Durden and Papa of The Game)
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MY FAVORITE POSTS, from Vybelist
Discussing “Inner Game”, by T
I've been getting a few emails and people asking, and one of the reciepients asked me to post my response. Here it is.
Here are the misconceptions about what “inner game” is and how it’s developed as I see it.
1. It’s poorly titled.
A broad generalized title means that anyone can develop or find an exercise from anywhere, that is untested and unproven, and call it an “inner game” or "social freedom" exercise.
Then because the goal is so general people really can’t tell where they’ve improved, whereas if my goal is specific, like opening seated three sets, I can tell day in and day out whether a method works. Also, no one really tests “inner game” exercises for validity, so that even if it does work, it’s increasingly hard to tell if the results were because of the exercise or the placebo effect.
2. Over the last few years, I’ve noticed that most guys use “working on my inner game” as an excuse not to be in the field. They rationalize that they are still improving, while really all they are doing is imagining themselves as a 20ft tall diamond version of themselves. (Ross Jeffries, unstoppable confidence) And most of the men I meet who are really big on “inner game” work, don’t pull regularly. This is the main reason why I’ve come to distrust the proprietors of these workshops, I’ve never seen LASTING results from anyone who’s participated.
3. You cannot develop confidence and character in a weekend seminar; the most you can hope to gain is an insight and a plan. I will never say that these workshops are completely worthless, because just like with hard work, therapy, or a strong hit of LSD, you can have an insight. You can realize something that you didn’t before. But the problem is you have to put this into action.
This is why I harp on field work so much, when you have a realization in the field, you are in a position to put it into action immediately in the context/environment in which you learned it. And if you’ve developed a regular habit you can test it over and over and over again in the context/environment in which you'll use it. A seminar room is very different, queit and no pressure, and it seems to be very hard for guys to transition what they learned into the field, loud enviroments and high pressure. If you listen to Tony Robbins "Get the Edge" series, he speaks about the problem people have putting insight into action.
4. NLP isn't all that great for developing inner game.
NLP is a tool, just as pick up is, and in some cases it can be useful. I personally like it for gentle reframing and triggering emotions within stories, but in different contexts these are accomplished more efficiently in other ways. NLP has a use but it’s not a necessity. As far as NLP's ability to cause mental change or growth, I personally never gained anything noticeable from doing the exercises, nor has anyone I know who's good. I personally think that meditation and psychedelics have far more to offer in this area, and that comparatively, NLP is a flawed tool at best.
Also, there was a comment that “NLP and psychology work.” I suppose… This statement has the same basic problem that “inner game” has. It’s so broad that you can’t tell what type of truth it’s pointing towards. It’s like saying “electricity works”. Ok great, works to do what? I agree that each has applications and limitations. How much help NLP will be towards treating schizophrenia though is doubtful, and recently the advent of Neuroscience is allowing us new insight and explanations to many psychological problems. NLP has not been empirically verified. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming.
I think that totally accepting everything that is said in either of these fields is as foolish as discounting everything that is said.
5. Game isn't the Tao. Everything framed around "game" is an incorrect mentality. Look at lifestyle. Your "lifestyle" isn't a part your game, your game is a part of your life. You don't take up hobbies to improve your lifestyle so that you can get more girls. You do these things because you enjoy them.
You don’t develop character to improve your game, you develop game to improve your character.
6. "Your inner game can never be strong enough." This statement should always be followed with "so keep buying my products and taking my courses." I'm all about continuous improvement, but really we are really just talking to girls. You don't need to do weird hindu self mutilation rituals, you don't need to see God to talk to cool girls. It's not climbing Everest, it's just talking to girls. The harder you think it is, the harder it's going to be.
What I think of in place of “inner game” and why it’s best developed in the field.
A Strong Will
Confidence
Calm
Integrity
Congruence
You can develop a strong will by setting a plan and sticking to it meticulously. Every day you go out you are building will power. Every day you don’t you aren’t. Confidence is gained by continually pushing your boundaries, by constantly doing things that make you uncomfortable. Whether this is sets with guys, or groups of five or more, or mountain climbing. Every time you do it you will gain confidence, every time you don’t you won’t. Calm is found when you have done something repeatedly to the point where it no longer surprises you, it’s a situation that you have experience with and have control over. Integrity comes from your decisions.
Are you a person who holds to what he believes, who will take a stand on a subject which is controversial and put yourself out there to be wrong? Do you allow yourself to be wrong? You can learn pieces of integrity in the interactions you have with strangers. Are you being forthcoming and earnest about who you are with them, or do you hide behind subtle lies and value tricks? Do you express your opinion honestly with everyone, or curtail your ideas around those who you perceive as having value?
Will, Confidence, Calm, Integrity; these are habits, and habits are developed and ingrained over long periods of time.
T
* There is however a Tao of Pick up ;)
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Builing a Pipeline by Philly Member
I work in Mortgages. It is a lot like meeting women. I have my flashy lines, a fancy sales pitch, and a game plan to close loans. I have learned to approach meeting women the same way.
If I have a huge pipeline, meaning I have a lot loans that are in the process of closing then I am NOT DESPERATE if a loan falls through and doesn't close, because I have other that will close.
If I have a small pipeline, meaning I have very few loans that are in the process of closing then I will feel the impact of not closing that loan.
I have seen PUA's and LO's (Loan Officers) become so desperate that they drive away a HB/client that they could have closed. This brings up a good concept:
OPPORTUNITY COST: is the cost of something in terms of an opportunity forgone (and the benefits which could be received from that opportunity), or the most valuable forgone alternative (or highest-valued option forgone), i.e. the second best alternative.
You could be out meeting new women/ gaining new clients instead of wasting your time on shit that will not close. Get out there a build a pipeline. Have many options of women instead of one or two.
In the past 3 weeks since I broke up with an LTR, I have built a pipeline of 8 women that I have never met before the 3 weeks ago. I have options now for when I go out and I do not need to be desperate. I also act this way while I have a small pipeline of girls. You should too. And please do not make excuses, get out there and build your pipeline.
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Phone Game, by Vini V.
This is straight from the old Yahoo group!
When I ask guys about their flake-outs and numbes not going anywhere
it surprises me to learn alot of guys are calling 1 time and leaving
a message and expecting a call back. Then they will "next" a chic
and call her a flake. What is wrong with you people?
Girls dont know how to make phone calls!
Once you get the number - continue to call until she changes her phone number!
Here are some "rules" or better, guidelines....
1. whenever you call... do it 3 times in a row.
2. if she doesnt answer the 3rd time leave a generic
"hi its me" reason being; you are the only guy in the world
of course she knows who me is. "i'll be going in and out - try to
catch me - or i'll call u later" thats it.
3. call later. same day next day - whatever. you dont have
to leave a mssg this time.
4. a few days later you can call a again. same thing 3x.
5. when you finally catch her spike her BT with a funny story
then cut her off. I gotta do something - pay my bill, floss my cat
whatever. I'l call you in a hr. And then dont.
6. repeat.
7. when you speak to her again - spike BT pitch to hang "we
should hang" she will say "tonight?" and then you say "no silly
-geez are you fast - im busy... why ur free?" and guage if you
can get her tonight. Otherwise tell her how busy you are and
then ask "what about you" when she tells you, say "i'm busy
that day, but I might have a few mins" if she says "OK" ask
"alright... im gonna put aside a few mins... but is there anything
that might prevent you from making it?" anything other than
a solid NO say "thats iffy... im not gonna make time unless
u know for sure... tell u what... ill call u later" then dont.
8. repeat.
9. Once you get a solid "date" call her a few times before
just to tell her what you are doing. Again call a few times
till she picks up. Call her before the meet and tell her "
you just got out of the shower" 1. to get her to imagine you
naked..lol and 2. to guage if she is gonna flake. this keeps her
"warm"
10. if you think u need to add comfort tell her some friends
will be there - 2 girls and 1 guy and that she should look nice
and dont be like she always is because you got an image to
uphold.
11. if you cant see yourself meeting with this chic anytime soon
call every so often just to keep her warm. If you are in constant contact
she wont forget you. You dont have to pitch anything, just cut her off
and tell her you have something to do. Tell her you'll call back in an hr.
and then don't.
12. Tell her the reason you are calling is your stuck in traffic and you
want her to entertain you.
13. If she goes to flake tell her her disappointed in her and that
you went out of your way by hiring a limo, had flowers imported from
bolivia, hired a private chaufeer, flew a concert violinst from france to
make the nite special. Say this in a way that she knows your BSing
and you know it but you dont care. Also make fun at
whatever excuse she gives you - you gotta go with your mom?
how cute a little mommas girl - will she let you stay up past your bedtime
for doing your chores?
14. if you finally catch her after leaving mssgs or calling several
times- dont tell her you called. If she asks if you have say "hmmmm
its possible"
15. go back to the golden rule - call until they change their number.
Remeber, a LSE guy will always stop calling or next a chic too soon.
ALWAYS. It is a guy with brass balls that will do a routine like the
above. In the phone game it is a game that the last man standing will
get the lay. Really.
Work it like a cold-calling (actually warm because they told u to cal)
business. Pick a time every day that you will work you list
and do the above.
Whats funny is... you will find there is a breaking point. You will notice that
at first you will be the one stalking by phone, but then there will be a point
where the tables turn and she will call when she says and want to meet you.
I went thru this with DJ just last nite. He called a girl and left
a mssg. I coached him thru it. He didnt want to do what I said.
"isnt that too much... I should call again?"
Had he NOT did the above. He wouldn't have the date (my gut feeling).
You gotta stalk. Call and keep calling. Walk them thru the process.
After you drop off your mom.. what do you do next? walk them
thru meeting you. They are like little incompetent babies that need
their hand held thru the whole thing. They need a big hard.... lead...
I swear under oath my friend Tony has phone numbers from 1980
seriously. He must have 100K of them. He calls them ALL. No Joke.
He gets laid almost every nite.
play on guys
V.
